You know you’re growing older when Prevention Magazine seems a more enticing read than Cosmo or Cleo. When I was in my twenties, “How to rock his world in bed” and “Buy that dress right now” were all good feature stories worthy of the $7 or $8 price tags their magazines commanded. Now in my thirties, a good feature story is one that helps me shift my camel hump of fat at the front without moving a muscle.
This morning as I walked past the magazine aisle whilst doing my weekly grocery shop, this month’s Prevention Magazine literally leaped off the shelves and onto me, when I saw the words “Slimmer thighs” and “Jiggle-free arms.” Forget about Karma Sutra for the suburbs, what I want is buns of steel, baybeh! And if it can all be accomplished while I am putting out the washing and hoovering the floor, so much the better. Who has time to visit a gym when caring for a family anyway?
I noticed that this month’s edition of Prevention Magazine also comes with a free booklet on “wheat-free eating.” There means no eating wheat. A couple of editions back, it was no eating meals over 400 calories as part of the “Flat-belly diet.” I had a sixty year old friend who tried that for 2 weeks and shed 5 kilos, before deciding, I opine unwisely, to go onto Human Growth Hormone supplements. Sure, you can loose weight taking Human Growth Hormone supplements but did you know you also up your risk of getting cancer?
I’d prefer to stick to a more conventional approach – diet and exercise – which I’d also recommend you do, unless you have a death wish, in which case losing weight becomes totally redundant. While it’s to my advantage that I have skinny genes that go back centuries, I have to watch what I eat like everyone else, as living in Australia has exposed me to cheese and wine, both of which I indulge in constantly, as part of my on-going cultural assimilation into the land.